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双面bear  

2009-09-11 22:08:12|  分类: 默认分类 |  标签: |举报 |字号 订阅

  下载LOFTER 我的照片书  |

 

余秋雨说吐纳为新

个体人格在社会空间和时间传承性这两种力量的拉扯中步履维艰

生命的发射多多少少屈从于群体情性的熏染

刚直的灵魂被华丽的重担渐渐压弯

那么若是认真努力过任何一个时刻

欲以不相同的群体互渗却耗散了无以收到回报的心血与那鼓起的勇气

什么叫努力终就成功 什么叫态度决定成果

从始至终未尝与此有过干系 便愈加困惑与痛恨需死死拽住的攀登途径

 

置若罔闻

 

虽有陪伴但

思念家乡思念友人思念温土与过去

是身处异土异校的不归属感 并随时间愈加厚重起来 压在背上令人哽咽

十分要好的人也各自远离 甜媚之事痛楚之思也无从 无意向谁说起

 

但原不是如此一人

 

金牛座-B型

一面乐意与人为友并疯狂行为 一面不愿不吐露一个字自我圈养

一面不断希望更加上进与优秀 一面厌倦枯燥的课程与不擅的题

一面在学校写完多数的作业     一面结束课程便不再做其他

一面饿的胃虚猛塞食物补饥     一面见到食堂黏稠的米饭泛苦水

一面冲动听到赞美与关注        一面最希望被淹没如此便无奇

一面内心酸不溜秋很在意很在意 一面懒得理懒得管懒得评论参与

 

也许都是这样 没什么好稀奇的 什么都 没什么好稀奇的

 

but she had a cancer.the kidney cancer that i ever seen in the movie.

i'm confused that why the wrong details on screen will happen to my grandmother.

till my brain was entirely blank look,i couldn't realize that was why.and why.

the divorce,the betray,the discards,the lonely life and the pains.and now what?the death.

not everyone'll go through these disaster,ha,maybe my life will be "rich" because of these experiences.

but i don't dare lose the love and memories.

it was toilsome for my grandma to take care of my brother and me.

we've lived together for more than 10 years.she always be with me,read the stories for me everynight i slept.

she does the cooking,teaches me the Chinese idioms.i love her more than everyone.

but now i feel so sorry for contradicting her.and the one thing that i just want her to be happy forever.

and i want to pay everything that i could suffer to let her alive.i would do everything.everything.

if she can be healthy ever,i will never,ever,ever,ever,ever,ever,ever..ever,leave her.

it's shame that i cried over and over time after time because of the new.

mommy cried through the phone.yes she loves grandmother so deeply,too.

the hurts were from the deepest part of the heart.maybe i'm still not brave enough to accept this.

so that i failed time and time again in the test at senior high school.even English and Chinese.

and i didn't know why.just feeling lost,upset and wanna cry&shout.please forgive my persistent.

v said that everything was motherfucking shit,but i should bear,life was a struggle,living without pain was not real life.

he said i was not stupid but smart,i could do much better if i work hard on it.everybody could.i had to face it.

SO,I'M NOT RUNING AWAY.I BELIEVE THE STRUGGLE'LL CHANGE SO___

MY BIGGEST DREAM IS THAT SHE'LL REGAIN HER HEALTH!!!!JESUS,PLEASE.DO ME A FAVOR.

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